How to support your loved one during exams
If your partner or friend is deep in exam prep, your emotional and practical support can make all the difference. Here are some top tips to help you provide the best support possible.
Sleepless nights, endless caffeine, hours hunched over textbooks—exam prep is brutal. But candidates aren’t the only ones who feel the pressure—family and friends experience it too.
Let’s be honest: students in exam mode aren’t always the easiest to be around. And it’s their loved ones who ride the emotional rollercoaster with them.
Supporting someone close to you through exams is a balancing act—help too much, and you’re a distraction; do too little, and it feels like you’re not there for them.
It can be tricky to get it just right.
If you’re in a position where someone you care about is deep in exam prep and you want to support them the best way you can, here are some top tips.
And if you're the one studying and think your loved one might need a little nudge, feel free to ‘accidentally’ leave this open on their screen.
1. Remember, it’s not personal
This first piece of advice is arguably the most important. No matter what your partner or friend says or how they behave, it’s not about you.
Stress can make people act in ways they normally wouldn’t—saying things they don’t mean or reacting more abruptly than usual.
The truth is, stress does funny things to people. It can bring out emotions they’re struggling to process, and sometimes that frustration spills over onto others. If they say something hurtful, it’s often more about what they’re going through than about you.
Top tip: if you’ve been treated badly, however unfair it may seem, take some deep breaths before responding. Ask yourself: is it worth getting into an argument or is it the stress talking?
2. Create a supportive study environment
Your loved one’s surroundings can have a real impact on their ability to concentrate and focus, but figuring out the perfect study setup is probably the last thing on their mind.
Take it upon yourself to create an environment that sets them up for success.
Not sure where to start? Read up on ergonomics–the science of designing environments and products to align with human physiology and psychology.
Here are a few key factors to consider:
- Seating – a comfortable chair with good back support helps prevent slouching.
- Desk height – their elbows should be at a 90-degree angle when writing or typing.
- Monitor position – the screen should be at eye level to prevent neck strain.
- Lighting – natural light is best, but supplement it with artificial lighting to minimize screen glare.
Top tip: Before you start moving their desk or reorganizing their books, ask first. The last thing you want is to add to their stress by making it harder for them to find what they need.
Another tip is to create a ‘no study zone’. This could be a designated area, like your kitchen table, where exam talk is off limits. This can be their place to detach and recharge.
3. Encourage healthy habits
It’s easy to fall into bad habits when studying for exams—late nights, too much caffeine, skipping meals. These habits can quickly take a toll on both mental and physical wellbeing, so if you spot them emerging, gently encourage healthier alternatives.
This might mean making them a healthy meal, joining them for a walk, or even hitting the gym together. Be mindful not to criticize. Stress can make people short-tempered, and you’re there to help, not to start an argument.
Top tip: Create a schedule together that includes study time and breaks. Knowing when they’ll take breaks (and for how long) will give them something to look forward to and help keep their study sessions on track.
4. Be a listening ear
Sometimes, being supportive isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about offering your loved one a space to vent. Let them know you’re there whenever they need to express their frustrations and fears, and offer words of encouragement when they feel like giving up (which, let’s face it, will probably happen).
It can also help to remind them of the bigger picture—why they’re putting themselves through this. Is it for career advancement? Or to switch careers entirely? But, just as importantly, remind them that their worth isn’t defined by the results of their exams.
Top tip: Being a shoulder to cry on can take its toll, so be kind to yourself if you start feeling frustrated. It’s also important to set boundaries to protect your relationship. Schedule regular breaks where you spend time together—without talking about exams.
5. Suggest relaxation techniques
It’s not always easy to switch off when you’re stressed, but taking regular breaks is crucial for productivity. If your loved one isn’t stepping away from their studies, burnout can quickly set in, impairing cognitive function and overall well-being.
Encourage them to take breaks between study sessions, and suggest techniques like mindfulness and breathing exercises. These methods have been proven to reduce stress and improve focus.
Suggest getting outside into the fresh air. Physical exercise has been shown to improve memory and boost concentration.
Top tip: Don’t forget, these techniques work for you too. Supporting someone through stress can be draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself as well.
6. Celebrate the small wins
When in revision mode, it's easy to get tunnel vision and focus solely on the final goal–the exam results. But remember, the hard work and dedication along the way matter too. Your stressed-out loved one might forget this, so be the one to remind them that even the small wins deserve recognition and celebration. Acknowledge their effort, not just the outcome.
Top tip: When your partner or friend reaches a significant milestone in their exam prep, like finishing a module, celebrate their progress with a treat. It could be a trip to the cinema or dinner at their favourite restaurant—just make sure it's not related to exams.
You’re only human
Hopefully, these tips give you some ideas on how to support a loved one through their exam prep. While being there for them is important, remember, you're only one person. You can help ease their stress, but you won’t be able to take it all away.
Are you studying for an exam? Check out our advice on how to get the support you need from loved ones.
